It's a proud day in Iowa. Same sex marriage is legal and since Iowa doesn't have a residency requirement people from everywhere can get married here legally. Gay Marriage is a topic that's off limits for some people. They think that it's wrong, dirty, or violates religious teachings. I can understand the religious beliefs, I just don't agree with them. The wrong and dirty part, that's just ignorance.
I know that a persons upbringing has a lot to do with what kind of adult they become. So, I suppose that if you grow up being taught that being homosexual is wrong then of coarse that is how you will think. But at what point do people being to think I for themselves?
Maybe I'm biased.
Maybe I'm guilty of the same thing. I didn't grow up with negative boundaries on most things. I call it my "Hippie Childhood". I wasn't introduced any formal religion. I wasn't restricted on what I was allowed to read or watch. I was introduced to people of other cultures, something my schoolmates were not. I was allowed to make my own decisions and form my own opinions.
I remember when I learned what homosexual meant. I was about six and had been watching television when a new show came on. It was a show that I had been waiting all week to see. Maude was on it. I was too little to realize that she wasn't actually Maude Finley, but was in fact the wonderful talented Beatrice Arthur. I knew I was going to like this show because I loved Maude. I also knew I was going to learn a lot of stuff from this new show.
For instance, I learned what divorce was from Maude. I also learn what abortion was, although I needed to ask my cousin Dar to clarify it a little, she was four and a half years older than me so she knew more about the world. Maude taught me that women could do anything, she was cooler than Wonder Woman and Superman combined. She was my superhero.
That night I knew I was in for television greatness. And my six year old self was right! The Golden Girls was obviously not a show that was intended for children but that didn't mean anything to me. And it had other people I was familiar with on it. There were two women from Mama's Family and a funny tiny old woman that I hadn't seen before but that was alright with me.
And there was Coco.
I liked Coco, he was a cook and seemed reasonable in the flurry of what the women were going through, and he liked the tiny one. She called him a "Fancy Man" and that sounded nice to me. I liked fancy things. They were prettier than other things and that made them better than everything else. I couldn't wait for the following Saturday so I could watch them all again. But, sadly Coco was gone. He was just like Ritchie and Joanie's brother Chuck, he was never to be seen again.
I never forgot Coco, he was always running around in my head and the next time I saw Dar I asked her if she knew what I could do to be fancy like Coco. And, that's when I learned what homosexuality was. I was also told that most people thought it was gross. But that didn't make any difference to me, I knew Coco was a good person and to me that meant that people like him were good people too. So, at six years old without any reservations I knew that homosexuality was perfectly natural.
About three years later I had one of the best days of my life to that point. My Mom and I spent the day with her friend Tom and his friend Bill. I had grown up around Tom and loved him, I thought of him as part of our small ever changing family. We all went to lunch at a tiny restaurant near Bill's house in an area I wasn't familiar with, I want to say that it was still in Akron, but I'm not certain. It was like one of those old diners you see in movies about a struggling blue collar family, it was great! I remember having a cheeseburger and thinking that Bill was super nice.
After lunch we went to Bill's house, on the way there my Mom began to explain to me that Tom was living with Bill for "a little while". Even then I knew "a little while" meant for good. I thought to myself "So what." and "She's hiding something. I wonder if Tom's gay?". I already knew Bill was gay, he was fancier than Coco had been. And, I liked him even more for it. I knew being different was hard, Dar had explained to me that gay people were sometimes hurt or had bad things said to them because of something that they couldn't help.
When we finally got to Bill and Tom's house I knew that I was right. If a house could be gay, that old house was Elton John, Dar had told me Elton John was gay too. Bill had painted every room on the bottom level bubble gum pink and trimmed it with magenta. There were feather boas in every room and the lamps all had tiara's on them. Autographed photos of celebrities covered the pink walls and I had to fight with myself not to ask for his Liza picture. There were jewelry boxes as tall as I was and they were overflowing with sparkling gems. I never got to see the upstairs, but I still imagine it in much the same way. I remember having hot chocolate while the adults talked and liking that Tom seemed so happy with Bill.
It was either late autumn or early spring that day and it was decided that we would all go to the local cemetery and look at gravestones. I ran through the graves looking for the children, I still do. I love cemeteries and it's because of that day. When Mom and I got home she said she wanted to have a talk with me. I had things to do and didn't want to waste time with silliness, so I asked "Is this about Bill being Tom's boyfriend? Or am I in trouble?" From that point on my Mother would ask me if I ever had any questions that I hadn't cleared up myself or any that Dar didn't have an answer to.
So, I want to give my best and most sincere wishes to all of Iowa today. I get goosebumps when I think about how lucky I am to live in such a great place. It's been a long time coming, but we live in a very progressive state. Iowa has been a trailblazer for a long time. It was the first to legalize inter-racial marriages. It was the first to have integrated schools, one hundred years before any other state. It was the first state to allow women to become lawyers. And, Iowa was the first state to outlaw slavery.
Let's just hope it sticks. I just have to be ready to help protest.
ps
Erik is thrilled too!
